Mrs Herridge, 85, was doubly hurt that the curt message from the team ministry was just a photocopied standard letter with her late husband's name Horace scribbled at the top.

The letter spelled out that memorials "contrary to churchyard regulations" have appeared on or around the grave.

The tribute was a pottery vase of pansies and other small flowers — favourites of Mr Herridge, who was a mechanic.

The church even said the vase "will be removed for disposal" if it is not collected within two weeks.

Mrs Herridge said: "I have to say I was really upset by the letter. The flowers were the small ones that my husband loved and it was the only way to keep them so they would live a little longer.

"We even put some extra ones on the grave of an eight-year-old boy that lies next to my husband. I suppose they will have to go, too.

"It is awful because I have complained in the past about sheep being allowed to wander around the cemetery but nothing was ever done.

"Now they won't let me put flowers on my husband's grave."

The letter was placed at the grave at St Michael's Churchyard in Honiton.

Mrs Herridge's son, Peter, said: "Quoting the churchyard regulations, it says 'pottery containers are not allowed for health and safety reasons'. What poppycock! Health and safety is fast becoming the cloak of authoritarianism in this country.

"Exactly how many accidents involving pottery containers have occurred in St Michael's Churchyard in the past 10 years? Can anyone tell me? None I suspect. The reason that some people prefer to place plants in containers on graves is simply that they stay in flower much longer."

He added: "I have been a keen gardener myself for many years and I have never found that pottery containers, or flowerpots as I prefer to call them, pose any danger.

"In fact, I would go so far as to say I handle flowerpots on a regular basis without gloves, eye protection or any other form of safety equipment.

"It would appear that on the rather dubious supposition that the humble flowerpot poses some sort of safety hazard the church has seen fit to print off a set of standard letters entitled 'the grave of', scribble in the name of the deceased person in biro and send it off to their nearest and dearest.

"I really feel this shows an extreme lack of sensitivity. It is high time the church learned to show some more respect for the elderly members of the local community."

And Mrs Herridge is not the only person affected. Alexis Richmond, of Honiton, had a similar letter regarding candles which had been placed on her son's grave. Jamie Richmond, of Lee Close, died in 2001, aged 21.

She called the letter "appalling" and said she "just wanted to pay tribute" to her son.

Reverend Allan Sheath, of the Honiton team ministry, said the matter has to be treated "sensibly" but rules had to be complied with. The Churchyard Regulations (1992) come from the Diocese of Exeter.

A diocese spokeswoman said: "People can plant bulbs or flowers on the grave and have a sunken receptacle but loose pots are not allowed."