Looking like Cruella De Vil is good for my health
AS I sat there, waiting for my prescription to be made out, the nice lady opposite piped up: "Looking for inspiration?"
I was in a way for I had been reading all the posters and leaflets offering seemingly endless advice and help on how to give up smoking, a subject dear to my heart — and even dearer to my lungs.
The pharmacy waiting area in Heavitree is full of the things — along with suggestions on how to cope with various other ailments, conditions and unpleasant habits, some too personal to mention here.
I might well suffer from one or more but I cannot deny the smoking, which I have to say I have largely enjoyed since my late teens.
I have made the occasional attempt to give it up but they have all ended with me lighting up another cancer stick, and feeling all the better for it.
I have tried patches, lozenges, peppermints, pills to make you less anxious and an interesting cigarette-holder device, but all to no avail. All that is lacking is will power.
The NHS and my GP have been most helpful without being pushy and I have been a grateful, if disappointing, patient.
But now I may have stumbled on my own personal cure.
It is a battery driven, electric cigarette which glows and gives off what appears to be smoke but is, in fact, water vapour.
It is, to all intents, a cigarette; in fact it comes with a little card that you can show to any doubters when you use it in a confined public place and which explains the technology behind the device and the fact that it is definitely not smoking.
I got the idea from a pleasant woman I met in the office's smoking shelter, which was probably not the best of adverts for its efficiency but as she lit up a real fag, she also pulled out an electric one she kept in the packet.
As we were buffeted by icy winds — the shelter has few windows so it cannot be mistaken as an enclosed area — she said it was ideal for using at her desk and, as such, had reduced her de facto smoking by an enormous amount.
Being easily led and susceptible to gadgets of all kinds, I thought I would give it a go and so, for the first time ever, I bought something online, over the computer.
My fingers must still have been frozen for I seemed to have ticked a wrong box and the first one I got glowed green and seemed to weigh several pounds, giving me a rather strange and unattractive, slack-jawed appearance when I used it.
I went back to the computer and tried again and this time achieved a better result — they deliver these things very quickly — this one giving off a natural-looking orange glow at one end and a fair puff of "smoke".
My wife and daughter, as vigorous anti-smokers as you could wish to meet, received my new device with mixed feelings. They are pleased if it means I smoke a lot less but amused to the point of near hysterics when I demonstrate how it works.
I admit I do have a tendency to be over-dramatic and rather precious when using it, a bit like Cruella De Vil with a long cigarette holder. You can't help acting, given that you are, in fact, using a prop.
I am now trying to recapture my Humphrey Bogart coolness, which is not easy, as when the battery runs down, the glowing end flashes amber like some demented traffic light.
That's probably quite apt as I haven't actually given up smoking, rather I have slowed down and hope the red stop light will come in its own time.







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